You suck is about Tommy Flood who is turned into a vampire by his girlfriend, Jody. The problem is that he didn't ask to be turned into a blood-sucking monster, and that both Tommy and Jody have captured the old vampire who turned Jody, and that old vampire wants out, AND Tommy's old friends are trying to capture him...and the list goes on!
Jody has been forced to leave town (San Francisco) once the cops find out that she is a vampire. In order for Jody and Tommy to get out of town, they have to find a minion to do their bidding during the day...enter Abby Normal, a sweet freak girl who helps them out.
Abby was what made this book for me. Every so often the book is told from the point of view of her journal and I loved her voice. She is really funny, but honest too. The characters in this book were all hilarious from the Animals (Tommy's group of friends who stock groceries and go frozen turkey bowling at night) to William and his large cat (he's a homeless dude with a really big cat). This book was a funny vampire story and not scary at all. The only heads-up that I need to say is that there is a lot of foul language. It's funny, but foul. There are also a few sexual situations in the book. So if you don't mind that and want to run around San Francisco with a bunch of vampires and vampire killers, then have at it. I would recommend this book to older teens and upper classmen who can handle the language and suggestiveness more. Too much for middle school.